Photo from Mount Royal, Frisco, Colorado.

"That is happiness; to be disolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep." - Willa Cather

Monday 22 October 2007

When obsessions start to hurt you

After the house guests had all gone, there was a small amount of fallout created by my recent insanity. I think SR and I have both been a bit overworked and under-rested. And my refusal to exercise less and eat more finally crossed the line into craziness in SR's mind.

We found this really cool old house converted into an Indian restaurant in the Twin Cities during our weekend away and we were sitting waiting for our roti and curry when he says:

Do you think perhaps you have become a bit more obsessive lately?

And I then knew that my fight to be the thin pregnant woman in perfect shape was no longer a fun game to him, but something that was getting in the way of our happiness.

And, in truth, it has become near impossible to slow or stop the weight gain. Half way through my runs I am getting so low on blood sugar that I feel close to fainting. Then I finally make it home and immediately get on my bike. Anyway, my body is saying no to exercising on little food. And despite all of my attempts, I continue to gain weight.

So a compromise needs to be reached. Exercise is one of the healthiest things we can do for ourselves and our growing babies. And I am still sure that our bodies send us signals to gain way more weight than we need to or than is healthy. So the trick is finding that healthy middle ground.

SR then stated Most women have obsessions during pregnancy, but usually they involved things like buying baby clothes and preparing the baby's room.

And this is true, but I don't believe spending money nesting in this way is productive. How many outfits does a baby need? And what is wrong with a simple bedroom? And of course the answer to these questions is obvious. But there has also got to be something comforting in a pregnant woman acting "normally."

But in my mind, the best thing I can do for the baby now is to stay healthy and happy. And to value the precious relationship SR and I have.

One of the so many things I love about SR is that he is not afraid to confront me when I am being crazy.

Anyway, the dinner was soooo tasty. And the next day we went running in a beautiful hilly state park with the fall colors in full splendor. And with no one around I could pee every 5 to 10 minutes. And I was a happy pregnant woman again, with less stress and a full stomach :).


Anonymous said...

Sea Legs,
You are going to go through so many changes through these nine months each and everyone of us when were pregnant are so very different. Whats right for one doesnt mean it is right for another. Just let nature lead you. It's so incredible what your body is doing right now. A 15-20 pound weight gain isn't really too much. You know you (with baby in jog stroller) will run it all off afterwards. Just enjoy your special time right now & enjoy nourishing yourself. Your body needs it. I've had 4 children and it wasnt until the last one that I finally realized how great it was to be pregnant.I quit worrying about the weight. I was able to get back down to 115lbs(Im 5'2) within 5-6 weeks. Relax~you are beautiful :)

Run Forrest said...

Honestly, I don't understand what your fear is. You can get through pregnancy, gain 20-30 lbs and lose it within months of giving birth. I do have experience running during pregnancy. I got to my fifth month and just found that the belly was too heavy and cumbersome to run comfortably. That doesn't mean you can't exercise. I switched to elipticle trainers or stair climbers ect. I found non impact worked best for me because any impact made my hips and pelvic floor hurt.

You need to add calories to your daily diet. Please don't forget that you are growing a human being inside your body and you need to fuel your body properly to make it happen. Extra calories doesn't have to mean eating crap. Just a little extra of what you normally eat to be sure that your baby gets what it needs and your body has the fuel it needs to create this little life. Remember, it isn't about YOU anymore. I don't mean to sound harsh but that's the way it is. You will lose any weight you gain afterwards. You've proven yourself disciplined enough to do it. It just isn't about you right now, it's about the little person inside you who is depending on you to get it right. 300-500 extra calories a day isn't that much. It's an extra couple of apples and some cheese for example. I did this and gained 30 lbs. That weight was gone in 2 months. I added some extra snacks through my day, that's it. Keep it healthy but understand that your body and your baby needs this.

Ok, I'm off my soapbox now.

Naomi said...

glad to hear you are listening to the signs your body is sending you. hope that you are able to put some of these thoughts aside to nourish that little baby.