Friday, 29 February 2008
Tuesday, 26 February 2008
The weather here was beautiful over the weekend with lots of sun and spring was in the air. SR and I ran together every day. No music, just talking. Christian was being watched for free at our YMCA childwatch. It's amazing how quickly time passes on these runs.
I noticed something that concerned me, though: there was a huge amount of drainage in the lining of my shorts after the runs. It was sort of a clear-rust colored. It crossed my mind that I had urinary incontinence. But, no it actually seemed to be coming from the uterus. I thought and hoped it would just go away. But then things got painful. First it was just chafing of the skin from all of the moisture, then it was pain and itching around the two delivery stitches, which eventually spread all over.
Now the itching is unbearable. I've actually made an appointment to be seen tomorrow. Maybe I'll have an answer then. I honestly don't know if the running has anything to do with it. It is either an allergic reaction or some sort of infection. The saying "physician heal thyself" has never worked for me. My mom thinks it's a diaper rash of sorts. SR suggested I soak in a hot bath last night. This is what the post-partum nurses had suggested I do every day. This was advice I shouldn't have ignored, I guess.
So we, all three (SR, Christian and myself), took a bath together. I don't think our bathtub could be any smaller and still qualify as a bathtub. Somehow all of our naked bodies fit (sorry no pictures :)). And Christian seemed to have the most fun of his (short) life. The warm water was absolute heaven to him. I felt much better and SR liked the silliness after his first day back at work. He said "it's amazing how unimportant work seems." It's really too early for either of us to go back to work. And I work my first shift tonight :(.
The "little bois" (Christian's new nickname) is changing so quickly. It is incredible to watch.
I don't want to forget any of it.
Oh, and as if there was any doubt that SR was the father, but we received the results of the paternity test we had to have done. And yes, we are the biological parents. They looked at 9 genes and it was so cool to see how he got one allele from each of us. We needed to do that in order to get SR's name on Christian's birth certificate since I was still married at the beginning of the pregnancy. What an expensive inconvenience that was!
I'll let you all know if I find out what this strange rash is so perhaps I can help you pregnant ladies out there avoid it.
Running Song of the Day: Be Mine by Robyn
Wednesday, 20 February 2008
I'm attempting to breastfeed this little guy as I write. We have been having a lot of fun with him despite the crying and waking up in the middle of the night. What would I do if I were working? I hate to think of the fact that I'd be going back to work in 4 days if I were in Oklahoma. But instead we are in our love cocoon. SR has three weeks off and I am trying not to worry about what life will be like when he goes back to work. I'm only going back part time, so that will be nice.
And yes, Lisa, he does look a bit like his father.
Running Song of the Day: Africa by Toto
Tuesday, 12 February 2008
Friday night, SR and I went on our first movie date. He had the afternoon off and we had gone to our prenatal appointment where he and our midwife manipulated my cervix for a while determining dilation, station and effacement.
Then we went to see the late afternoon showing of Juno. It's a very good story and SR and I found ourselves crying a bit more than is acceptable in public (and in front of our co-workers nonetheless). Then we went out for some pretty bad Chinese food. We did learn that my year's sign in China is a sheep and SR's is a rabbit, signs that are meant to be together, but that was no surprise.
But then the excruciating back pain started. I had to get out at about 12pm for a cervix check and there had been minimal change and the baby was face up! Ahhh! That was how I was born and my whole life I've heard stories of my mother's agonizing 48 hour labor with me. I was cursed! Apparently only 1% of babies are born face up, but perhaps it runs in our family.
More than slightly discouraged, I asked for water papules to be injected into my back. This saline injection treats pain a lot like acupuncture (by confusing the pain signals) and worked so well. But only for a half an hour.
By 1pm I was in absolute agony again. Now screaming and crying with each cursed contraction. At 2pm, the next cervical check showed again very little change. We were pretty much all thinking he was stuck at this point, but no one wanted to say it.
SR, the midwife and the nurse all recommended I get an epidural so I could relax and give the baby a chance to turn. I'd do anything to avoid a c-section.
It took 2 1/2 hours before the anesthesiologist arrived to do the epidural. There were a lot of tears and "why me?"s involved. Poor SR didn't know what to do to comfort me, but he did. I did get fentanyl and nubain in the meantime. I went from the all-natural-birth girl to the drug seeker pretty quickly once I realized all the pain wasn't bringing the baby any faster.
Then, I got the epidural.
Wow! Why would anyone not get this????
Over the next three hours, my cervix went from 5cm to complete. And there was no pain. I actually slept for a couple of hours while the baby turned.
I woke up ready to push, feeling just a slight pelvic pressure with each contraction. And after 15 minutes of pushing, there he was. And we thought we had cried a lot at the movie.Now we could love a real human. All 6lbs 1 oz of him.
And make fun of him and call him the stoic China man.
Thursday, 7 February 2008
We celebrated SR's birthday with some ice cream and a lot of love.
And then two days ago we celebrated his daughter's birthday. We had her tell us all of the things she had learned in her 7th year of life. And then we ate way too much cake.
Thank you to everyone for your very touching comments over the last couple of weeks.
Running song of the Day: All that She Wants by Ace of Base
Friday, 1 February 2008
Two nights ago, I was getting the feeling things were very close, so I went to the mall to get a bunch of last-minute things. First I found a swimsuit for SR's daughter, then I was looking for a cd of relaxing music for labor and a wave a nausea hit. I left the store and felt regular contractions lasting over a minute each, that seemed to get stronger and stronger. I was so excited. I persisted in my shopping (which is normally something I hate to do) and found some sexy nursing bras (can't believe size 36 C was slightly small! This is coming from a girl who used to buy a B cup rather than an A just to avoid the shame). Victoria's Secret has really nice "racerback" bras that clasp in the front. While I was looking, though, I was doubling over in intermittent pain. The salesgirl and I were getting a good laugh out of it.
I called SR at the hospital, who basically said, "don't go into labor now... I'm on call."
I drove to meet him for dinner at the hospital, thinking this was going to be it, whether or not he was on call. But once I got something to eat and drink, the contractions basically disappeared.
We retired to the call room, for possibly our last round of call room sex, since this was his last night of overnight call. We've become big fans of doing our own cervical exams. This is, as far as I know, completely safe as long as the membranes haven't ruptured. Oh, and wear gloves... you don't want to rupture the membranes with your fingernails! The cervix is basically completely effaced now, with 1-2 cm of dilation and still at about 0 station as far as we can tell. The weird thing is, when we do the cervical exam, all of this white, flaky stuff comes out. Neither of us has any idea what that is.
It is an exhilarating feeling for me to be able to reach down and feel the little guy's head. SR likes to press on his head and then feel him kick in reaction. Oh, I wish he would just come out!
I've already had bloody show, and from what we could tell, the mucus plug came out. And now there is constant pressure in my back and pelvis. And, along with that, nausea.
As you can imagine, I've been making some attempts to induce real labor. So far, other than sex, I've increased the running to 5 miles a day. This is really good for inducing staggeringly strong contractions, but irregular. Then the eliptical induces pleasant, regular contractions. When I swim, I just get light intermittent contractions.
I haven't attempted acupressure yet. I'm saving that for this weekend, when SR is done with cardiology. But honestly, I think the baby will come when he's ready. And my symptoms and feelings of being ready won't affect anything. Gosh, I'm nauseated, though, and that stinks!
Last night we had our last preparation for childbirth class and we were practicing deep breathing and relaxation. We were supposed to picture somewhere pleasant, that made us happy. I pictured SR and I running in the forest late last March in the mud with the gray-white sky coming through the trees. He was getting near the precipice and looked back at me, smiling. It still seems unreal that I would find something so perfect in my life, a person, who in every way seems to be made for me. And to share a love that is so innocent! And I started crying in the class. So I imagined us in Pictured Rocks, looking at each other coyly as we got naked on the deserted beach. There was a storm approaching and the waves and wind picked up. We were like children of heaven, afraid of nothing in this world. And I cried even harder, not able to believe the beauty in my life. When I looked at SR, it seemed perhaps he had been crying, too.
So I had to picture somewhere that wasn't real. And I thought of the dream I had oh, five years ago now. I was somewhere in Europe on a mountain, next to a lake under a sunny blue sky. I was holding a little blonde baby boy and looking into his eyes, feeling perfect happiness. When I fell in love with SR last winter, I knew that little boy from the dream so long ago was his little boy. That I can picture without tears, because it's not real yet. But I think it's only a matter of time.
Running Song of the Day: Heartbeats by The Knife