Photo from the 2014 Ice Age Trail 50 Miler by Ali Engin. Permission to use header photo must be obtained through Ali Elgin.

"It's better to feel pain than nothing at all. The opposite of love's indifference." - The Lumineers

Sunday, 16 November 2008

Lesbian Wedding Report

Now I can mark this off my list of extremely unusual things to do before I die: attended husband's ex-wife's lesbian wedding.

I was, I guess, surprised when ex-wife asked me to come. Especially because SR couldn't attend. She mentioned that I'd probably like to see the step-kids all dressed up. And I certainly did. Then somehow we arrived at the decision that I'd be the photographer for the wedding. I didn't realize at the time what an integral part of the wedding this would make me.

I should say that they didn't call it a wedding. It was a "blessing ceremony." That title gave the ceremony a nice feeling. Why not celebrate and bless the love between a couple? It's a great idea.




The white dress and tux, worn by ex-wife and her partner respectively, did give one the feeling of being at a wedding, though. As did the ceremony in a church, the reception with dinner and a dj.

I just hope they had the celebration they wanted. But even if everything went as planned (which it seemed like it did), things didn't exactly flow like a normal wedding. Despite the guests' best efforts to seem comfortable with the whole thing, there was some awkwardness. We do live in small town midwest, after all. The speeches were few, short and a little forced. And there were some family members who didn't attend. They had booked a beautiful banquet hall with so much good food, but that made the unexpected small number of attendees even more obvious.

When I think of the discrimination against gay marriage, initially I get angry. Then I just get sad.

All that being said, I had a really good time. I got to meet some of SR's old friends. I had heard him talk about them, so it was so fun to hear their impressions of him. I was not surprised by how sad they were that he wasn't there.

Plus I got to listen to a long conversation between ex-wife's mom and my mom. Suffice it to say it was entertaining.

Overall it was a fun day and it was a treat to play with step-son and step-daughter in all their fanciness. I'm almost cried though when I said goodnight to them. We've only got one more week where we're all together.



3 comments:

olga said...

I think it's huge that you were not only invited, but being made a big part of the ceremony. Huge. Tells a lot about family dinamics, even if some of it sometimes is difficult.

Michelle said...

More power to them!! I have a gay uncle, and I think once you have a family member who is homosexual, you feel differently about things (well, I do, at least). I was very upset when Proposition 8 passed here in California (it did away with gay marriage, which had been legal here since June). The aftermath is still ongoing.

Love the pics! Glad you were able to attend! :-)

Danni said...

Very cool! How great too for the kids to see everyone being one giant weird family :-) Good on you and your whole family.

I too am saddened by peoples' opposition to gay marriage/union. Things will change in our lifetime though.