I haven't exactly hidden the fact that I love living in Denmark. I annoy my readers with this opinion often. SR suggested I tone down the "double citizenship argument" since no one cares but me. Fair enough.
What exactly is going on in our lives is weird and confusing. SR has a full time job in the US; I have a full time job in Denmark.
A few weeks ago, the kids moved to Denmark with me and SR spent time alone in the polar vortex (Duluth). He returned to Denmark last week, to a warm apartment in (relatively) balmy country; to happy kids and home-made chick-pea pancakes and most importantly, biathlon on Eurosport. Oh and his wife. These days he says often that he wants to move back to Denmark. He says will quit his job in Duluth this summer.
But the night he arrived, I had to decide whether or not I would withdraw from or stay in the American residency match, to start a 3 year training position in Physical Medicine and Rehab in the US (place to be determined). We agonized over the list I had to rank of most desirable programs (only those I had been invited to interview at) over least-desirable. Rasmus agonized over my desire to rank Stanford higher than his desire to live in Palo Alto (he won). But what really mattered to me was we were saying we would move to the US for 3 whole years. The country that wouldn't give me more the 15 days maternity leave or any understanding or compassion as a young female soon-to-be mother physician. That culture of working 80 hours a week and thinking nothing of it. The culture of medicine that doesn't tolerate ... moms. Mothers who sign up and sign away their lives are asking for conflict. American society wonders how you can't be there for your kids at 2:30 PM when they get out of school and go to after school activities (and you wonder yourself) and your residency program expects nothing to trump working and learning. 50% of young American moms don't work ... America- why even educate women who want to have kids?
3AM Feb 26th was the deadline to decide- is it any wonder I was up until 3 AM?
If I were any other blogger, I would say it was "a privilege" to be able to make this decision, that I was "filled with gratitude" for the opportunity, but those are big empty words. I don't like them.
Instead of being filled with gratitude, I was filled with tears. But I followed through on the plan SR and I had made together. And we will be closer to his kids starting July of 2015- for 3 years.
And then, I will bring the speciality of Physical Medicine and Rehab back to Denmark, where it currently doesn't exist. I'm excited about that.
Since the big decision, we have been enjoying the magical weeks of all being together again.
|Christian's running has suffered in American public schools and Duluthian snowdrifts, but his drive for accomplishment hasn't.|
|After the race, he became the king of Fastelavn by breaking the barrel with the poor cat in it. Or was it a giraffe? Actually these days there is no animal inside the barrel, only candy.|
|It is good to meet a husband who is willing and ready to discuss the pathways to gluconeogenesis and the genetic makeup of Trinidad on long runs.|
|And ask me why on earth I am panting while running uphill. (the explanation is not rocket surgery)|
|He says my running technique keeps getting better, which I am so proud of. I just can't figure out how he started out with proper running technique, but he did!|
|We like grimacing, or not.|
|We pretend he looks fast, but perhaps we are looking at the scenery?|
|One of the essential elements of being an upper class (respectable) mom in Denmark is the perfect scarf for every occasion. Buffs are not accepted in most circles- I learned at a Christian's pre-kindergarten meeting.|
|Sudden mist storm.|
No one every said life would be easy. They did say life would be beautiful, though, and they were right.
Running Song of the Day: Tom Odell's "Another Love" (Zwette Edit)