It's totally incredible. One moment I'm sitting in a waiting room filled with nervous couples. Judging by the size of the bellies around me, everyone was there for their 12 week scan. They call it the neck fold scan for Down Syndrome. I figured it was by some mistake they had called me in for a scan - but what I wouldn't do to see a beating heart - or two. Not that I wanted a child with two hearts. I was thinking more along the line of twins.
I, as usual, stuck out among everyone there since I was in running attire, for one, and since I was alone. This is generally a thing couples do together, but SR had to miss it due to work. I felt bad for him - I know he wanted to be there. But things like this simply must be more important to moms. Or am I wrong? To me, this was the single most important event of the last, oh, six months perhaps. Or, I thought it would be. But what if they just found a big bladder and a bunch of fat tissue? That would suck.
They called me back for the scan and asked if I wanted to be tested for Down Syndrome. I just sat there, kind of quite and uncomfortable. "If I say no do I still get the scan?" The ultrasound tech looked relieved. Of course you do. And for someone as young as you, I wouldn't recommend the measurement for Downs anyway - you have such a little chance and the measurement isn't very precise. Well, that was a relief.
And then I'm laying on a table with wet goo all over me and a probe on my belly. And suddenly, there is our child.
The most amazing thing is, up on that big screen, you just can't tell the difference between a 12 week 5 cm baby and a real newborn. It was moving around and had a beating heart and every part a baby has. Or so it appeared. Here's a picture, but of course, it could never do the event justice.
(Plus I can't figure out how to crop since I'm on a computer I don't normally use.)
I went home a new person, having seen our child for the first time. I wanted so badly to share it with SR, but he was with patients and couldn't answer the phone.
I went on a run, feeling so warm and happy. I even put on black underwear - as a symbol to myself that I wasn't afraid of bleeding from a miscarriage anymore. I had just seen our child move and it was doing ok! Maybe I could even do some speedwork - naaaah.
To most people in the town of Næstved, it seemed like an unremarkable day. But today was the first day one could run on trails again without slipping all over ice. And there was short green grass everywhere, trampled and beaten by the winter. This is completely amazing to someone used to winters in the Midwest. It reminded me of pictures I've seen of Ireland with short green grass and green moss over everything. Was January 18th the first day of spring? I ran for three hours. I couldn't help it. It was nearly effortless. I would have run longer had I not had a meeting to get to.
It feels like the beginning of something good.
Running song of the Day: River by Akron/Family
Photo from Mount Royal, Frisco, Colorado.
"Children are fascinated by the ordinary and can spend timeless moments watching sunlight play with dust. Their restlessness they learn from you. It is you who are thinking of there when you are here. It is you who thinks of then instead of now. Stop. Let your children become the teachers and you the student" - William Martin