Photo from the 2014 Ice Age Trail 50 Miler by Ali Engin. Permission to use header photo must be obtained through Ali Elgin.

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

The deformity scan

Yesterday was finally the day of the ”deformity scan”. I'm not calling it that as some kind of pathetic joke. That is what it is called in Denmark. They had the options of "20 week scan", "midpregnancy scan" and ”deformity scan” and went with the latter (I imagine so it would be paid for by taxes). I couldn't help but being affected by the name. Unlike the my scan with The Lorax at the same point in pregnancy, I was really worried.

There has been a lot of negative energy in our life lately. Not because of anything bad in particular, but because SR and I work way too much. And that is all I have to say about that. But am I wrong in believing that when there is negative energy and a feeling of ”unluckiness” that things tend to go badly?

The weeks leading up to the scan seemed to take eons. And the more time that went by, the more nervous I became. But when friends and family talked to me about the scan, they simply wanted to know the following: ”are you one of those people who wants to find out the sex?” and then, since I always answered ”yes, I'm one of those people”, they would ask what my preference was. Well, just because one wants to know certainly doesn't mean one has a preference. I just feel that knowing the sex somehow allows me to imagine the little one better and more specifically direct all of my love. SR and I had discussed it a lot and there were pluses and minuses to both. The biggest plus to having a girl was that we loved the name we had picked out. Plus, people tend to look at families with one of each as balanced and perfect. But since our family will never come close to appearing balanced, with all of the confusing sibling, step-sibling relationships, that really wasn't a consideration. Finally, the day before the scan, I said that having a girl would be nice because it would be different. I was, of course, well aware that the odds were stacked against that. And right after I said it, I regretted it. Because – whatever it is – once you say it, you start to believe it. And before that, I really hadn't had much of a preference.

God, I write a lot of nothing these days.

So on the day of the scan, when they put the probe on my belly and the baby looked healthy, I burst out into tears. I was so happy. I imagine ultrasound techs are used to hormonal pregnant behavior. No matter what I wanted to believe or how I looked at the baby on the screen, it just looked like a boy. But maybe they all do. They went through every single organ, it seemed, before they got to the penis-clitoris matter. Then one of them said something about a ”tap” in Danish and I smiled at our little son. A ”tap” is a rod. Not the first word I use when describing a penis, but it was nonetheless clear that we were not expecting a girl with a rod.

(just goes to show you can't determine sex by the severity of nausea!)

When I got home, I finally got in touch with SR at work and he started crying like a baby, apparently right there in the middle of the hospital ward. ”I just get so happy imagining another Lorax” he said, choking on his words. I was afraid that this baby would somehow be ”just the fourth kid” to him; I cried too, mostly because I had underestimated my husband.

Meet Finnbjørn (again). And remember - that's just his name in utero :).

First from the outside


And from the inside




Running songs of the day: 1. Eager for your Love by Tristan 2. Civilian by Wye Oak

Take note of the poll to the right. My next post will talk about why it is pregnant women get injured while running - and what they (maybe) can do to avoid it

15 comments:

Katie said...

Yay! Healthy baby! I was nervous before the ultrasound too. This last time around the tech didn't speak much, so my imagination was going wild. And at the end, when I asked if everything was good, she told me the doctor would call me with the results! Of course, that's what they're suppose to say, but during my first pregnancy the tech talked us through the whole the thing...

The Chapples said...

Congrats on your boy! We're having fun thinking about brothers hanging out being boys :). Fun that you'll have that experience too!!! Glad everything is okay with your little one too. So reassuring!

Gowry said...

What great news! And what a fantastic blog!!! :)

amy said...

Great news! When we meet up in Madison, maybe we can make a play date with my 2 nephews there (ages 3 and 6).

cherelli said...

Congrats on expecting another boy!! And you are looking simply great, way to go SLG.

Angie Bee said...

I love having boys :)
You look wonderful!!!!

Stefanie Schocke said...

Congrats on a boy!!!! Boys are so fun, as you already know! You look amazing! So cute and tiny. Cannot wait to read your next post...even though it's a little late for me now!

mmmonyka said...

Congratulations on a healthy baby boy!
Lorax will teach him all the guys stuff, they will have so much fun!

Kirsten said...

Congrats - this was so touching to read. I'm really happy for you and what ever comes - boy or girl (not) - you will love the child. You look beautiful with the cutes tummy, keep looking out for yourself!

Fast Bastard said...

After calling me a baby, I just have to point this out:

As a retinal specialist, you should know that the rods and cones for the retina are translated as "tappe" and stave". But you got the translation wrong! A "tap" is a cone and a "stav" is is a rod, in ophthalmologic terms.

The men in my family have always been proud of our cones, as will little Finnbjørn.

sea legs girl said...

Holy crap, SR. That was quite a mistake for a retinal specialist to make, huh? I was convinced at the scan that I must have somehow learned tap and stave wrong. I mean, it just didn't seem possible that she would call a penis a cone!!! Good thing she followed it up with "you're having a boy" otherwise I'd be in doubt right now. Or should I be in doubt? I guess not since you're so proud of your cone :).

Joy said...

I just love your adorable little belly. You're so cute! Congrats on another little Lorax!

SteveQ said...

I really should've commented on female comedians. Most people will name either Tina Fey or Sarah Silverman, but the woman who makes me laugh most often is Amy Sidaris. Oddly, most of the funniest things she's said or done are found in her brother's (David Sidaris') books.

sea legs girl said...

Steve Q. I love Amy Sedaris!! But David even more. After I read Naked I actually went to hear him read and talked to him IN REAL LIFE. He is hilarious.

Diana said...

Happy to hear that you have a healthy boy. Congratulations!