Photo from Mount Royal, Frisco, Colorado.

"Children are fascinated by the ordinary and can spend timeless moments watching sunlight play with dust. Their restlessness they learn from you. It is you who are thinking of there when you are here. It is you who thinks of then instead of now. Stop. Let your children become the teachers and you the student" - William Martin

Thursday, 10 January 2008

I felt you in my legs before I even met you

Emotions have been running amok the last couple of days. I am in a tranquil place right now, though, after a run, bike & swim. But earlier this morning, I spent an hour crying happily, losing control, not believing how amazing life is.

I guess it began yesterday morning when I was looking through SR's old pictures, which happen to be on our computer. There is a whole life there before he knew me, which is hard for me to admit. It is strange that no matter what I do now, I can never have an effect on his previous life. Sometimes I believe that just by looking at his old pictures, his old life will become my life, too.

I stare at these pictures, wishing I could introduce myself to this guy who doesn't know me and seems to have no idea how much I love him.

It is weird, though. Is it possible that we did sense each other before we met? Is that just magical thinking?

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Then the thing that sent me over the top today was watching home videos of waterbirths. They made the delivery feel so imminent. I can imagine it happening at any moment and holding our son in my arms. So I am sold on the idea of doing a waterbirth and recording it after watching these:

http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/water-birth-video.html (watch the second one)

http://wahmdigitalscrapbooks.com/birth1700k.html (there's no denying this one's beautiful)

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Running Song of the Day: Nineteen by Tegan and Sara (okay, it's really not that good of a running song, but it is a good song)

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