Photo from Mount Royal, Frisco, Colorado.

"That is happiness; to be disolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep." - Willa Cather

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Thursday, 10 January 2008

I felt you in my legs before I even met you

Emotions have been running amok the last couple of days. I am in a tranquil place right now, though, after a run, bike & swim. But earlier this morning, I spent an hour crying happily, losing control, not believing how amazing life is.

I guess it began yesterday morning when I was looking through SR's old pictures, which happen to be on our computer. There is a whole life there before he knew me, which is hard for me to admit. It is strange that no matter what I do now, I can never have an effect on his previous life. Sometimes I believe that just by looking at his old pictures, his old life will become my life, too.

I stare at these pictures, wishing I could introduce myself to this guy who doesn't know me and seems to have no idea how much I love him.

It is weird, though. Is it possible that we did sense each other before we met? Is that just magical thinking?

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Then the thing that sent me over the top today was watching home videos of waterbirths. They made the delivery feel so imminent. I can imagine it happening at any moment and holding our son in my arms. So I am sold on the idea of doing a waterbirth and recording it after watching these:

http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/water-birth-video.html (watch the second one)

http://wahmdigitalscrapbooks.com/birth1700k.html (there's no denying this one's beautiful)

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Running Song of the Day: Nineteen by Tegan and Sara (okay, it's really not that good of a running song, but it is a good song)

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