I suppose I had better write a post before my life of responsibility begins again. Since the departure of my family, my days have consisted of exercising in the morning, working in the afternoon and Skyping and reading at night. True it has felt like an empty life, in comparison to what I am used to, but it wasn't at all boring or unhappy(of course, key to the "not unhappy" was knowing I wouldn't be alone for long). Perhaps the best part was the tv was not turned on for a second. I abhor television (as much as I abhor candy). That is probably the reason I never talk about it. Until I moved in with SR, I had gone my entire adult life without a tv. The fact that one even sits in our apartment is annoying to me, but when you live with other people, their happiness tends to count for something, too.
This morning was typical in that I exercised from 8am to 12:30. There was also a shower in there (before and after the pool) plus socializing, etc. Sound excessive? Well, I guess it would be if I had other responsibilities. But family on another continent + maternity leave = lots of time to do what I want. This morning it was
road bike for 50 minutes
swim for 62 minutes
raod bike for 50 minutes again
trail run for 50 minutes
(this was a relative rest day since none of it was strenuous. And no, I don't precisely plan out these times ahead of time, I just sort of went with the feeling)
Then I finally had to stop to get to my midwife appointment at 1pm.
I actually weighed myself beforehand since they don't weigh you here - not even once have I been weighed at an appointment here and I am officially just over 62 kgs now! I thought it was a fluke the last time I weighed myself, but no I am that heavy. So that's a just over 8kg weight gain and I hope this is where I stop - really, he is big enough and so am I.
Blood pressure: well, I was hoping it would be low since blood pressure is always lower right after exercise (unless you're like gushing out blood from an injury or in rhabdo, etc), but it was 108/56. I was a bit disappointed because I always like my health practitioners to think I'm on the verge of fainting. (as an aside, I have one time in my adult non-pregnant life weighed over 130 lbs and at that time my systolic blood pressure was over 130, so I took it as a sign today that I shouldn't gain any more weight. Ie. the higher my blood pressure the closer I am to weighing too much. OCD? Yes.)
Baby's pulse: 130. Dang. I liked it better when it was low, but he seemed quite bothered by the fact that she was fidgeting with him and he was kicking and moving like crazy so I won't obsess about it. Or will I?
Baby's position: head "very deep down" in pelvis. She said he was completely "locked in" now and that nothing anyone could do would turn him. I asked her what she thought it was like to be doing a headstand in a bony pelvis (albeit in water) 24/7. She laughed as if she had never considered it. Of course he must like it, in a way, but I must admit I think about what it must be like all of the time and it just doesn't sound pleasant. Please come out soon baby, then you can sit upright on me and eat my boob.
Fundus measurement: 28 cm. She said "I would automatically have to refer you to a scan now if you hadn't just had one because you're 2-3 cm below the curve". Well, there you have it: Denmark does not systematically ignore small measurements after all!
Internal exam? Nope. They don't do that anymore. The midwife explained it has apparently no predictive value. Plus, "it is unpleasant". I was like, "I find them very pleasant" and winked at her. Okay, I didn't really. Are internal exams still done in the US before labor begins? I remember getting one at 38 weeks with The Lorax.
These last two days, while nice for me, have been shadowed by the fact that SR is going through a lot. And I feel terrible about it. He said good-bye to Natti for 3 months. Can any of you moms imagine being away from your child for 3 months? I just don't think I could live without The Lorax for 3 months. And for SR, it is no easier. Every time period he lives without Natti, a little part of him dies; the part that should have been experiencing the world with her, but isn''t. And neither The Lorax nor I nor a new baby can substitute for this feeling of loss.
I keep thinking about the fact that SR went to a movie about penguins with Natti and Andreas and that he cried at the end. When even penguins can become a metaphor for how sad your life is, things are really rough.
But on Sunday (already) we are leaving for a week's trip to Sweden. That is SR, The Lorax and I, together with SR's extended family. I am going to soak up this time with SR and The Lorax as never before.
Finally, I owe you all at least one running song, and this time it is "Guess I lied" by The Qualia.
While musically it is a great song for running, I was extremely impressed with it because I thought the lyrics were about an incestuous relationship between a brother and a sister. No, I don't condone that kind of relationship - but I just kept thinking "Can you SING that?? In a song??". Now, despite having been an English and French literature double major in college, I am terrible at interpreting poetry. I tend to read tons of things into poems or songs that aren't there. Or just miss the point entirely. This song was no exception because the band says on their website that it is about a brother and a sister "sharing a joint". Well, that basically ruined the song for me. But I still like running to it.
Fun facts (now, in times of uncertainty, such as now with SR & Natti, I tend to turn to exercise and weight loss to make me feel in control. No secret there. So I thought I'd share with you a little tidbit I read from the June 23rd New England Journal of Medicine)
Top 3 lifestyle factors associated with weight gain in the US:
1. Quitting smoking
2. French Fries
3. Potato Chips
Top 3 lifestyle factors associate with weight loss in the US:
Ooooh. I can't wait to see SR and The Lorax at the airport tomorrow! It just can't come too soon!
Photo from Mount Royal, Frisco, Colorado.
"Children are fascinated by the ordinary and can spend timeless moments watching sunlight play with dust. Their restlessness they learn from you. It is you who are thinking of there when you are here. It is you who thinks of then instead of now. Stop. Let your children become the teachers and you the student" - William Martin