Header from Fyr til Fyr 60k. Photo by Moses Løvstad

"Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." - Howard Thurman

Monday, 13 June 2011

Scandinavian Slowness

When I left off last, one week ago, I wrote about how my fundal height measurement at 32 weeks was too small (it was between 25 and 26 cm). There was general concensus among the readers (at least according to the comments) that I should get a scan to make sure the baby was growing properly and there weren't other problems. I said I would figure out who to contact.

So why hanven't I written an update? Because nothing has happened.

I called my nurse (who may actually be a doctor; I can't find it anywhere on the clinic's website) and I got the secretary. The secretary told me the easiest way to contact my nurse/doctor was to write an email. So I did. 3 days later (Friday), I got a reply that she would refer me to an obstetrician. Saturday I received a letter saying I have an appointment with an obstetrician this coming Friday. At that time the obstetrician will decide whether or not I should get a scan.

If something is wrong, we're not going to find out about it in any sort of timely fashion. I feel like if I get that ultrasound before I actually give birth, I will be lucky.

BUT, I don't have any sort of *inkling* that anything is wrong. I feel like everything is going as it should. But, as SR's cousin pointed out: "how would you know something was wrong?". Good question.

So that's on the back burner.

In other news, I feel entirely overwhelmed right now. And it has nothing to do with the pregnancy or my work, actually. It has to do with the fact that my step-daughter, Natali, is moving to the US in 5 days. In these 5 days, I can't make up for the things I have done wrong or the things I wish I had done with her. I can only hope she is happy during her year in the US and that she has gained some self-confidence and a sense she is loved here. As SR has worked out with his ex-wife, she will be moving back to Denmark again after one year. It is a rough life for a 10 year old. I don't envy her one bit. But the whole situation leaves me feeling powerless and tired. In 5 days, she will go from a girl who has basically been my daughter for two years, to a girl I talk to from time to time on Skype. But then I think about how SR feels, and I feel even worse.

Yesterday at a family gathering, a cousin asked Natali "isn't it hard for you to have to move back to the US again?" I expected her to say she was looking forward to it. But instead she said "Yeah, it is hard."

Here is a picture of SR's immediate family from this past Sunday. Sunday and Monday were holidays: Pinse. It is a tradition in Denmark to celebrate the time period when the Apostles had the ability to speak in tongues. It is called Pentecost in English.

11 comments:

Jacqueline said...

I'm glad you will see someone later this week. I am so surprised they aren't taking the fundal height discrepancy more seriously. I thought if you were more than 3cm behind your weeks, it was cause to look into it?

I know there has been a lot of talk about some people just carrying small, and I believe that.

And I know I have gone on and on (and on and on ...) about my pregnancies on here. But my doctor never cared that I measured small until my curve kept falling.

I would worry about IUGR. That is what my OB was worried about with me, and while they did have small abdomens, and my daughter's head and femur growth also slowed too much toward the end, both were born the correct weight for their gestational ages (and did not have IUGR). I also had very low fluid levels, which caused 2 inductions.

My OB attributed it all to crappy placentas.

I wish you could just go grab a doctor friend and get a peek! I am not trying to freak you out! I just don't understand why they are so blase about it.

You do a ton of research, and while we probably do too many scans, etc., sometimes, you can also do too few.

Thanks for the update, and hang in there as you wait. I'm hoping that baby is just nice and low and mucking up your fundal height by being tucked way down. ;-)

Jacqueline

Stefanie Schocke said...

I would get the scan. (It sounds like you are going to).

Poor girl. What a hard adjustment at a young age. :( I'm sure you will miss her tons!

Jessie Thomas said...

If you feel as everything is fine, chances are you are, you are probably right. You are the expert on your own body. Sorry to hear about Natalie. Sounds like a lot of adjusting is happening right now. You are doing a great job. Thanks for posting.

sea legs girl said...

Jacqueline,

I agree with you. I just wish it were as simple as contacting a doctor friend. I have a good friend in OB, but she can't preform a scan herself, nor can she get me one more quickly. Just like SR can't get CT scans done on his cancer patients as quickly as he would like - there is simply a wait here for scans. There are very few indications for getting any sort of scan the same day in Denmark. I am going to call today, though, and see if they have had any appointment cancellations so maybe I can see the OB doc sooner.

heather said...

Geez, the procedure for getting a scan in Denmark sounds like it was dreamed up by Kafka! It just makes no sense at all, when the scan itself takes like 10 minutes, max.

So sorry that Natali is leaving you. That must be so hard for her. It's a tough age to have to re-adapt to new friends and new surroundings when she's probably *just* gotten comfortable where she is :( Best of luck to her!

Diana said...

We had Monday off here, too. It's called Pinksteren in Dutch. Niek and I "celebrated" by speaking terrible German to each other.

Glad you heard back from your doctor, even if the wait was agonizingly slow.

So sorry to hear that Natali is leaving you for a year. That wouldn't be an easy transition for an adult to make, let alone a young girl. I hope the adjustment goes smoothly and that she has lots of adventures in America. A year can go by so quickly.

SteveQ said...

My church briefly had a tradition on Pentecost to have everyone read the day's lectionary aloud at the same time in whichever non-English language they knew. It's the only time I got to speak Frieslich. [and the geek that spoke Klingon made me laugh out loud]

Danni said...

I hope you get some good news and into see a doc soon. And Natali will be ok. Children have endured much worse in this world than growing up multinational and come out great.

Kirsten said...

Ok, now I'm going to tell you more stories....I think there must be some private places where you can pay your way to a scan - as unfair as it sounds because Dk is a country with free healthcare. But you know, a woman must do what a woman must do. I had a scan in Dk when pregnant 11 years ago (living in Turkey at that time) because my (Turkish private) doctor said I had too little water - he just didn't like that I worked until the end of my pregnancy. That was somewhere in Frederiksberg. No, you probably cannot know if something is wrong - just have to trust that old Mother Earth sense, but why should there be? I was also told twice that the fetus had a terribly small stomach - both girls turned out great without any problems. (No small tummies there...)
Kids are tough. Mine are moving around the world, taken out of schools and away from their friends and family (which anyway lives in two different countries). They have a very rich life, are all fluent in three languages and learn another two in school, have friends from any country you can name, are used to other cultures and religions. And are crying their eyes out when leaving/being left. But bounce back up and continue. Natalie and you all will have a difficult time saying "see you" (NOT goodbye) but you will see that something good will come out of this experience. Enjoy the last few days instead of worrying about what you did or didn't - you have been a great mom for her!!

PiccolaPineCone said...

I know that the fact that my story (which I am about to tell you briefly here) turned out great doesn't mean with certainty that you have nothing to worry about but hopefully it will be comforting. I too was measuring small, can't remember how small but it was something like 3-5 weeks behind. La cocotte's growth slowed way way down in the last trimester. Then she was late, no dilation etc. etc. I was finally induced and warned that she might be really small. Instead a 6 lb 7 oz baby came screaming out of me and has been healthy ever since.
I know you dont have your fundal measurements from the Lorax`but how does your body compare? Are you really that much smaller? I know it is not the most scientific measure but then again, neither is the fundal measurement (seriously how does it make sense that all women, tall, short, fat & thin should have the same fundal measurements at the same week of pregnancy?). I said it before and I still do think you should get the scan for your own peace of mind but I really wonder how different is this pregnancy from your last? I seem to recall pictures of you looking pretty small prior to giving birth to a very healthy Lorax.

sea legs girl said...

PPC,

Great point - I've mentioned just that so much in real life that I must have thought I mentioned it here without doing so. I feel like this pregnancy is almost exactly the same in terms of my size. And it was when I was 33 weeks that I fell off the growth chart with him and got an extra scan. The thing is, he WAS small, 6lbs1oz at birth, but there was nothing wrong with him. This baby is also sitting in the exact posisition as he was and I think my weight gain so far is almost exactly the same. So no, no reason for alarm at all. Just being careful because, yeah, technically it is abnormal and shouldn't be ignored.

Little update: got my appointment moved to tomorrow (Thursday).