In order to tell the story, you need a little background.
I met SR two years ago. At first, I thought of him as this cute blond guy who was strangely good at sports and always talked to me about running. A couple months after I started residency I worked with him on an internal medicine rotation. He was my senior resident (SR). I had never worked with anyone who was so smart and funny and confident and cared so much about his work. Not only that, he made our jobs as clueless interns easy and fun. He loved to teach and when we forgot to do something, he did it, never allowing patients to suffer and never complaining. And all the staff members of the internal medicine department adored him. I often told my now ex-husband what a great doctor SR was and how much I enjoyed working with him. I wondered where this superstar could be from (it sounded like he had a northern Minnesota accent, but that's another story). Had he been from the U.S. he could have been doing neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins, if he had wanted, with his credentials.
So how could he end up without a job after graduation? There's a one word answer, and that's jealousy. He asked for a letter of recommendation from a female staff member at our hospital. She happens to be a little older than me, single and a competitive runner. She agreed, but then, without any warning, wrote such a negative letter that he couldn't be hired (despite many staff members coming to his defense). Only now does SR admit she may have had a love interest in him. Who knows? We could only speculate. But I do know that jealousy is possibly the most deleterious of emotions. Worse than greed or even plain hate.
So SR will have to scramble to find a job of some sort. And as it stands right now, our family will be without health and dental insurance (ironic for two doctors, I know). But, this job, apparently, wasn't meant to be.
I guess I am making a big deal about the loss of a mediocre four month position. But it also makes it hard for him to get any job at our hospital. And, it seems impossible that after three years of hard work, long hours and heroic measures to be the wonderful and loving husband and father he is that he would get this slap in the face. I hope he knows how many peoples' lives he has changed for the better. He inspires and encourages everyone around him to learn medicine and to care about it. You meet people like SR so rarely; that type of person who seems more like an angel than a human.
10 comments:
Hi Sea Legs,
It is incredibly unfortunate that your family has been impacted by someone who has no qualms about hurting people. I hope that a better opportunity presents itself; it seems that your husband certainly deserves it.
Holly
Way lame! I think you have a great attitude about it though. Like you said, it probably wasn't meant to be and who knows, hopefully some fantastic position will present itself.
How true about jealousy, how sad...and how much love is in your words. Trust in faith, things will work out, and most likely for the best.
Sealegs, I feel as the other commenters do that this is very unfortunate, but can anything be done to resolve this? Can SR approach the woman and ask her what drove her to provide such a damaging review? In a performance evaluation, you are allowed to ask questions...and this one is relevant. I would ask for specific examples to support her claims. I would also add that the reason I am asking for this is because I had no idea I was regarded so poorly and I aim to improve provided she cites specific instances and events that justify her claims. In the Human Resources world, you are only allowed to confirm a person worked at your company and for what period of time, and it is customary knowlege that if you got nothing nice to say, don't say shit. I mean, this is in writing and others witnessed it. Seems slanderous to me. Are these letters a matter of personal opinion provided by a person or are they required to speak with fact? In other words, did she state any false information? I would seriously pursue this...it could impact his career and future earnings.
I just cannot believe this, she is so unprofessional and a sore loser!
I know I am leaving too many comments, but a guy at the top of his class that is well-liked by colleagues and admired by his underlings should not have to endure this.
That sucks, but if I understand correctly you guys are moving to N. Europe or something anyhow? I've had that experience where I misjudged using someone as a reference and they stabbed me in the back and then kicked me for good measure.
I admit though that I don't understand what you're suggesting -- she gave the bad review because she's jealous of you? Sounds more like a scorned woman to me based on what you've described.
Sea Legs and SR,
I'm sorry to hear of this, and it does just plain suck.
The mature person would have said that they didn't feel themselves in a position to make a positive letter of recommendation.
I hope you two are able to find positive outcomes from this, like a better job! :)
Thinking of you guys,
Meghan
Thanks to everyone for all of your supportive comments. I don't think we'll ever know exactly why that negative letter was written. But as Danni pointed out, we've only got 5 more months until we move to Denmark. And SR spent all day talking with recruiters so it seems like things will work out fine.
Yeah, that's great! I still think you should trip her in the corridor. Heee heeeeeeee. Now who's immature?
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