It is nearly unbelievable I am going to write the following on the internet, but if there are other OCD control freaks out there like me, perhaps you will realize you are not alone. The rest of you can just enjoy a laugh at my expense.
Yesterday was kind of a weird day. I rode the train with the kids to Copenhagen and was plagued by such an extreme nausea that I questioned whether or not SR and I could go on our planned run. The planned run was the family championships, involving SR, his dad, his brother, his uncle and me. One could either run one or two times around Bagsværd Lake (4.1 miles for one time) and we compared times. My warm-up run with SR once around the lake didn't feel so good, but my tempo 2x around the lake felt awesome. I got a personal record for the endeavor with a time of just over 62 minutes for 8.2 miles on a pretty hilly at times technical route (involving many small dogs prone to attacking).
When am I getting to the good part? I woke up several times at night due to nausea. What on earth could this be besides pregnancy? The first stores here open at 9 am and since there was nothing big going on with my project, I left to buy a pregnancy test. I took it at the store. Oh, I'm now one day late for my period, by the way. And it was just completely blank. No control line or anything. So the test was a dud? I went and got my money back and bought a new one (these are packs of two and she wouldn't let me keep the unused one from the first pack). I came home and took it. This time there was no control line, but the pregnancy line was red. I took the third test. This time a BARELY visible control line and no pregnancy line. WTF? It was all too much. Were these just all faulty tests (unfortunately they only had one kind at Bilka). I drove out again, this time to a store called Kvikly, and took another test. This one was clearly negative. But what if my urine was just too dilute and that's why the first three didn't work? I called SR at work "I know I'm pregnant! What's wrong with these tests?" I was crying... So I went on a run over lunch hour and then just took another test. Negative.
Well, I'm sick of it. I'm sick of thinking about it and worrying about it. The most frustrating is trying to fathom whether or not all these symptoms are induced by my own imagination. Ok, on to thinking about other things (I hope).
Photo from Mount Royal, Frisco, Colorado.
"Children are fascinated by the ordinary and can spend timeless moments watching sunlight play with dust. Their restlessness they learn from you. It is you who are thinking of there when you are here. It is you who thinks of then instead of now. Stop. Let your children become the teachers and you the student" - William Martin